God's Will in My Life: Big Decision

Jon and I are approaching a big decision: leave Guam on our already scheduled time frame (July 2011) or to extend for one more year (July 2012).
Guam had apparently been in God's ultimate plan for us from the beginning, no matter how much I wanted to fight it. Jon and I met when he was stationed aboard the USS Houston. We got married and about a year later the boat was scheduled to change ports, from Washington state to Guam. At that time the pictures that popped up in my mind about Guam, were sleeping with netting over the bed, constantly finding snakes, and huge spiders and other insects inside my home, near my future (at the time) children. I imagined sweltering, unbearable heat that would keep me inside almost constantly; very limited shopping (oh wait, that one I got right!); and no one that spoke English except of course the other Navy families. I never thought I would be able to find a church I could fit into, I imagined only Catholic churches on this teeny tiny island. I even thought I would develop claustrophobia from being confined to such a small, speck of island in the middle of the ocean. So in my ignorance we decided we would be better off taking orders to a shore duty command in Virginia. While in Virginia we had a good time, made many wonderful friends and then it came time all too soon for us to leave. Jon and I had been really praying that we would be able to get back home to Washington state, but in God's answer to our prayers, He has given us a detour. We were informed the only way, at that time at least, for us to return to the West coast would be to go overseas first. And as luck would have it the only thing Jon was offered at that point was Guam. By then, a few things had changed to ease us into this transition.
First of all, I had grown used to being away from home for a long extended time, and when I really thought about it, there wasn't much difference between Virginia and Guam distance wise. Now yes there are thousands of miles more between Guam and Washington verse Virginia and Washington, but in either situation I would not be in a location that I could just pick up and go visit my family anytime I wanted. And most of all, during our time in Virginia, God had placed in my path a friend who had been there and had eased most of my fears about what island life would be like. I completely believe God placed us in Virginia first for those exact reasons, so that we could go to Guam with a more open heart to the island itself.
Now that we are in Guam, we are having a hard time with the thought of leaving. Jon and I would both like to experience a little more of the island life as it offers many activities we will not be able to do in the Northwest. Snorkeling, scuba diving, as well as many other water sports and activities, but also traveling and seeing some places of the world we otherwise will probably never see. Another reason we have grown so attached to this island are our friends. We have met some of the most wonderful people here on Guam. We still love and miss our friends from Washington as well as Virginia, but at least for me it seems that the longer I am away from my comfortable home in Washington were a lot of old friends that I grew up with are, the more I open up to new people and new friendships. In Virginia it took me a long time to realize I could make great friends anywhere I go and I am not just limited to only friends I have known since school. (Though I still treasure those friendships very dearly!)
Most of all though during our time on Guam, I have had the chance to grow closer to God then I have ever been. While there are some minor things I do not agree with within our church here, I do find myself constantly challenged like never before to reexamine parts of my life, so that I can have a better relationship with my Heavenly Father. And honestly that is hard to give up. On the one hand, I don't want to leave the environment when I feel I am constantly in check and held more accountable, but on the other, does God want me to go somewhere else for new adventures and my biggest challenge in that being to not fall back into the trap of being content to not move forward in my walk with God, or worse to backslide into old habits. This is what has been on my heart for the last few months as we try to decide which course of action to take. To stay or to go, that is my question to God!
So please pray for us as we need to make the decision by this coming July. They need a year in advance for both of the following- requesting a years extension or requesting to go back to the West coast (Washington not a guarantee, but I would be fine with California as well, we have a few friends and family there also). Another big factor in our decision making process will be if Jon makes first class from this last exam he took in March. We should know around May, and if he doesn't make it we feel it would be best to extend so we can ensure he will have made it before he moves to a new command. If he does make it, we will have to look at other factors on how to proceed, we may still extend we just aren't sure yet.
Any prayers or advice are most welcome.

For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so that you will walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, to please Him in all respects, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. ~Colossians 1:9

I delight to do Your will, O my God; Your Law is within my heart. ~Psalm 40:8

The lot is cast into the lap, But its every decision is from the Lord. ~Proverbs 16:33

All in His Time

I am pretty sure I am not alone when I ponder this: why is it that inspiration seems to always strike when my head has found that comfortable spot on my pillow as my day comes to a close! I truly believe my 'creative juices' are like those babies who seem to have their days and nights all mixed up. Sometimes I get that itch to write about something during the day, but more often then not, whether its writing a blog, or brainstorming for more birthday party ideas for the kids next bash, it always hits me as I crawl into my nice cozy bed, beside my sweet husband who hates going to sleep without me there, which lately seems to be quite often!
I wish, oh how I wish, my mind had an off switch! I would definitely be a more rested mommy if that were the case. But alas, that is one thing God did not install when He created me, just as He intended.
I think we often don't like God's timing, we say no, not now, wait until next week, my calendar is completely clear...next week. Then of course something comes up and soon it becomes next month, next year, after the kids graduate and leave the nest, then I will be totally free and clear! Of course who knows if you will be around then? By then God will have found someone else who is eager to serve Him immediately!
Even now, I think, "Oh Lord, I have so much going on right now, Jon has duty the next 2 weekends, I have to reschedule Zachary's party- remember that Lord, because he got sick on his birthday of all days- yeah, and then, then I still need to get ready for my mom's big visit next month, I need to clean and prepare everything, yep LOTS to do Lord, so right after my mom leaves I will start that new ministry idea you whispered in my ear, as soon as she leaves, well at least by the end of that month because then I have a party thing to host the weekend after she goes..." and the list goes on. Don't get me wrong, all those things are important to me, but NOTHING should come before the Lord, and what He has for me to do! Whether it is to get back up out of bed and post a blog about something He has burdened my heart with or a new ministry He has given me to use for Him, I need to do it in His timing not my own. And as Pastor Schettler shared about Thursday night in his message, this includes prayer. If God lays something on your heart to pray about, you need to stop what you are doing and pray! If we don't, then we forget, or get caught up in something else, we procrastinate- one of my biggest weaknesses, and Satan definitely knows it, and will use it if I let him!
We don't know when we will die. We don't know when anyone will die, even the unsaved neighbor we keep meaning to try and witness too. We don't know what seeds a blog we post might plant, or why God wants us to pray for someone out of the blue, but we know if we don't listen to the Holy Spirit's guidance we might not have the chance to play the role God wants us too in someone coming to Christ. He wants to use us, and instead of fiting it into our schedule, we need to fit our lives into His, because His schedule has no flaws, no missed appointments, no cancellations. His schedule, His timing is perfect. Everything happens all in His time.

"Seek the Lord while He may be found; Call upon Him while He is near." Isaiah 55:6

"I hastened and did not delay to keep Your commandments." Psalm 119:60

"Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth." Proverbs 27:1

"And He [Jesus] said to another, 'Follow Me.' But he said, 'Lord, permit me first to go and bury my father.' But He said to him, 'Allow the dead to bury their own dead; but as for you, go and proclaim everywhere the kingdom of God.' Another also said, 'I will follow You, Lord; but first permit me to say goodbye to those at home.' But Jesus said to him, 'No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God." Luke 9:59-62

"Therefore be on the alert, for you do not know which day your Lord is coming." Matthew 24:42

Overflowing with Joy to Share

I don't know about most of you, but after only attending 2 of the 5 evening services during the Missions Conference at Harvest Baptist Church (and also the Sunday morning service of course!), I feel very convicted about certain areas.
For those who aren't sharing this little island with me, our church does a Missions Conference around this time every year. This year a Pastor from Santa Maria, CA came with a group of seniors from their church. While the seniors worked with the children, Pastor Schettler gave some amazing messages! Now, I will be honest, it took me a while to come around to the messages, because while I recognized instantly the truth in them, I was just so overwhelmed, and at first, thrown off on the presentation. I have never had a Pastor, or heard a Pastor, with so much enthusiasm! I mean he was all over the stage, and at points was yelling at us because his excitement for his messages seemed to just boil over inside of him. He had no choice but to let it flow out! Not being used to that, I didn't appreciate it at first, I tend to like what I am used to and not care for change or being out of the ordinary patterns, but I now wish I could have gone to all the services (which wasn't for lack of trying, sickness & Jon coming home late from work is what kept us away).
After a week of stewing over somethings, particularly from Sunday morning's service, I admire his confidence and excitement for the messages he shared with us. And I hope people can look at me, and see the same joy overflowing in my life, because we are not meant to keep it all inside. We need to let Jesus' love and light shine through us! And we need to be excited about it!!
On Sunday morning, he shared with our congregation 3 keys to moving stones out of the way so that we are able to minister to the lost world we live in. The first was that we need to get creative! This reminded me of something else I recently learned. During our ladies night for missions last week, we broke into prayer groups who each had a particular missionary that our church supports to pray for. My group prayed for the Childs family in Australia. Apparently in Australia, at least the part they are ministering in, there is a high concentration of cults, specifically Mormons and Jehovah's Witnesses. And part of our prayer for them was that they may be creative in how they reach the people there, because the traditional methods of going door to door wouldn't be an option because they would want to stand apart from the cults, those 2 in particular, which do tend to do a lot of knocking on doors. And my thought was, boy am I glad I am not them and thats not my job! Because I could never come up with a very creative way to minister to anyone. But after Sunday morning, I realized, though I am not in Australia, nor do I feel called to be a missionary abroad, but I still need to be reaching out, and I still need to be creative about how I approach it. And that is what has gotten me on the path for a new ministry opportunity that with the Lord's guidance I am developing through my love of baking, and sharing those treats with others!
The next key part of moving stones away is confidence. Confidence that when we pray, God will act. Not praying out of obligation, half-heartedly hoping, just maybe God will answer this prayer request if He really wants too. NO!! Pray expecting, knowing, and believing God CAN and God WILL act on our prayers. We may not always get the answer we want, but if we actually have confidence that our prayers will be answered, we could see our friends and family come to know the Lord!! Instead of thinking maybe God will hear, KNOW God will hear your prayers because He ALWAYS does. I know this is definitely an area I need to really concentrate on improving. I need to have faith and confidence that God will answer my prayers; instead of 'just hoping' and praying with a question mark at the end of my prayer when it should be an exclamation point!
And the last part of moving stones and other obstacles out of the way to reach lost souls is to have compassion. As for me, I think my compassion is there...sometimes, when its convenient for me. I can really struggle sometimes with finding little things to irritate me, and then later learning I misjudged. Instead I should always seek to be compassionate and caring to everyone, instead of finding a negative in any given situation. For example, standing in line at the post office to get a package the other day, a woman with a small girl came over and got into this gap in the line. Instantly I was irritated and upset, it was a long line, I had been standing in it for a few minutes but was already getting bored and tired. I thought how dare she just cut her way in, but then I heard her thank the man behind her, and as I observed further I realized she had already been in that spot in the line but had been letting her little girl wander a little, and in her wandering she had gone out of sight. So the woman had been only coming back to her original spot in line, that the man behind her was kind enough to hold, while she retrieved her child. I felt awful! Though this all only happened in my own mind and was not shared with the rest of the crowd, I know God saw how ugly my heart had been, instead of showing compassion to everyone no matter what circumstances were going on. And I realize, even if she had been 'cutting' in line, I was still wrong for not having a loving heart, a compassionate heart toward her. If I want Jesus to use me, then I need to remember to always, regardless of circumstance, be kind, caring, loving and compassionate, in my heart, mind and actions.
All that said, I have a LOT to work on and pray about!! And that was all in ONE message!! But all of us can always improve, no matter where we are in our lives and our walk with the Lord. He never wants us to stand still and just be content to go no further, He wants us bubbling over with joy for Him like Pastor Schettler is! He wants it to pour out of us everywhere we go and in everything we do. And I hope I have done Pastor Schettler some justice in passing on his message. I did the best I could from memory because I did not take notes that day (shame on me!).

"Being unable to get to Him [Jesus] because of the crowd, they removed the roof above Him; and when they had dug an opening, they let down the pallet on which the paralytic was lying." Mark 2:4 (Creativity)

"Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have recieved them, and they will be granted you." Mark 11:24 (Confidence)

"So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." Colossians 3:12 (Compassion)

You just can't reason with a wasp!

Before church a few weeks ago, as Jon and I got the kids into the car, this wasp came out of nowhere and got right in my face. Jon laughed as I shrieked and danced around trying to avoid it though it seemed bent on getting to me! I am absolutely terrified of anything with a stinger! I escaped into the drivers side door, since that was the closest open one, as I announced to Jon, "I guess I am driving today!" Jon was still chuckling to himself about my little panic attack and dance to get away from this tiny insect when he got into the car, and only laughed at me harder when I said, "That will teach me for wearing such a bright yellow shirt!". He explained to me, still humored by my ignorance, that wasps are territorial and they aren't attracted to bright colors as bees may be. Then we left for church and moved on with our day, though I still can't help but hurry to get in the car ever since for fear that wasp may come and find me again someday!
Now sometimes in my mind I can go off on crazy thought spirals, for some of the silliest things. And I often sit back and marvel at this wonderful, intricate and crazy world that God made, and all the creatures He put in it. So after my experience dealing with the wasp and having Jon explain to me that it is territorial, my thought process started getting out of hand again. I thought, Well so are we as humans, and we were here first, so the wasp needs to be the one to go! Doesn't she know that she's the one who built her nest on a human built structure??!! Now I am not crazy, and I didn't seriously expect the wasp to realize this and leave me alone for good, but it soon had me marveling at God's plan and creation.
As humans, we are the ONLY creatures capable of truly reasoning with our thoughts. Now some people may argue that dogs or chimps can, but truly their skills don't go beyond learned habits and instincts. Dogs just know after so long, if they sit when we say that word, they may get a treat. Dogs don't go on to think about if they really want one, or if they should save it for later because lunch time is approaching, or maybe not have it at all because they are watching their figure. God didn't give them the ability to think logically like we do, if He had, maybe they would've learned to only chase the mailman at the beginning of the month when the bills start pouring in! You just can't reason with dogs, wasps, or any other creature on this planet!
I don't know about you, but I find it so amazing to think God made us so unique among all His wonderous creations. I don't want to even venture a guess as to how many other species share this earth with us, but we alone have the ability to love and praise the Lord. We alone have the ability to even begin to fathom His work and His wonder. We alone have the opportunity to one day join Him in heaven. What an amazing God, and what an amazing world He has made for us!
And though I may not be able to reason with the occassional wasp who tries to defend herself and her home from me, I can appreciate the fact that at least I can truly understand this world, and know that God made every bit of it for a reason, even that tiny little wasp.

God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them. God blessed them; and God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth"...God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day. Genesis 1:27-28 & 31

Introducing, Natalie, The Naive Jester

What personality and attitude my daughter, Natalie, has!! Sometimes a little too much when it comes to the latter of the two. Here are some of the those precious moments we look back on and laugh, as the term 'kids say the darnedest things' takes on a very personal note to me!

As we waited at the doctor's office when I was pregnant with Zachary, I covered myself very carefully with the sheet. The doctor, who incidentally goes to church with us, is going to be coming to check my cervix and as I was hoping this would be my last visit before I had my precious boy, I insisted Jon and Natalie come to the appointment with me to hear the baby's heartbeat, that symbol of the life inside of me, one last time before we would be very much aware of his presence in our lives! My doctor came in and soon was covertly checking my cervix under the sheet so that Natalie would not see anything. But apparently she is more perceptive then I give her credit for because out of her sweet little mouth at 3 years old, comes the concerned and curious phrase, "Doctor put fingers in Mommy's hoo-hoo?". Needless to say I turned bright red and was completely speechless myself!

As Easter approached we pulled out some of Natalie's past Easter baskets and some plastic eggs so she could brush up on her egg hunting skills in time for the Easter egg hunt with some friends we had planned for later that week. One day she brought her basket and some toys out to the living room and preceded to put her foot into the basket and then gently place random toys on top of her foot within the basket. I looked at her puzzled and dismissed her strange behavior, saying to her "You're a weirdo!". Without missing a beat, Natalie replied, "No, I'm not a weirdo! I am a genius!" I didn't even realize she knew what that word meant!!

As a family we approached the 'fork in the road' at the mall. Jon was to go one direction looking for something, and I wanted to check out some things in the opposite direction. I assumed Natalie would want to go with her Daddy, being the daddy's girl she is, then as we prepared to make the trade-off, I would take the stroller, and Zachary in it, from Jon and he would be taking Natalie who was holding my hand, and Natalie declares she wants to go with mommy! How sweet, its such a rare moment when she prefers mommy over daddy, unless of course Jon is punishing her, then she uselessly clings to me for sympathy (which of course she does NOT get!). And as Natalie and I head in the direction of tiny clothes and frilly dresses I ask her what made her so adamantly want to tag along with mommy, and her reply is, "Because you a lady, and girls have to stick together!" That explains it all!

As per our usual routine, Natalie rushes into the bathroom before lunch so that I can put her hair into a ponytail and pin back any stray hairs that may be searching for a sticky substance to bathe in. She gets up on her stool as she carefully chooses the color of ponytail we will be using today, and I stand behind her and begin to gather up her long locks. Looking up into the mirror, as if for the first time, she so elegantly announces in her own surprise "I am soooo pretty!" All I can do is chuckle to myself and agree, but of course I have known that for over 3 years.

Some of you may have already heard these little antidotes from me other times, but be on the lookout for more from Natalie, the Naive Jester. She is always coming up with more innocent yet hilarious comments to put a smile on my face and hopefully on yours as well!

What funny and cute things have your children said that made you laugh or turn red with embarressment?

Tears: Repent or Regret?

As one bible study I have been enjoying comes to an end, I find myself anxious and excited for a new one. This time it is just me, so I decide to do a more in depth one through 2 of my favorite books, Ruth & Esther. The study is one of 3 in a series for women, and the title is "Pathway to God's Plan". Now I am not a believer in coincidences, I know for sure God has put this book into my lap for a reason because now on day 3 I am already finding so many truths that have their perfect timing in when I need to hear them! I guess this means I am already on my pathway to God's plan.
Today the truth I have found that spoke to me is on tears. I have shed many tears over my life. Even in elementary through junior high school, I was a crier, and I often got made fun of for it. By high school I had learned to be a bit more in control of my emotions, but to this day I still am a very emotional person, which really means, I cry, A LOT! I have come to appreciate it as part of a gift of compassion God has bestowed on me. But I have never thought much about what the tears actually mean until now.
There of tears of joy, when you are so full of happiness it can't help but be spilled out! And tears of sympathy, one I am particularly susceptible to, it is a fact, if someone else is crying within 50 feet of me, no matter the reason, I will end up shedding some tears! Of course we can't forget the tears of sorrow, often these happen when your heart is weighed down by grief over losing someone or some tragic accident has occured, these are the tears we long to never have spilled but are the most unavoidable of all. And then there are two more types of tears to be named.
The first are tears of regret. We regret making that decision to abort a baby, or that one night stand. Maybe we regret not going to church when we know God was calling us there, or saying hurtful words to our family; taking the wheel when we know we have had too much to drink, we regret. Many of our sins fall into this catergory. We often cry tears of regret over mistakes, major and minor. Tears of regret can also seek an audience, they long for sympathy from others, as well as to stew in their own self-pity, knowing nothing is going to change. Tears of regret reflect back on our pasts but don't make any move towards a change.
Next are the tears of repentence. These are the tears that don't look back. These are the tears that say, I know I have made mistakes in the past, we have all sinned, but I want to change and look toward the future. I want to turn away from those mistakes and look toward God. You shed these tears in your heart, no actor can ever win an award for these tears portrayed on screen or off, because they cannot be faked or forced. These tears are between you and God, they are a symbol that you want to change your heart and life. And you can't fool God, He knows what is in your heart. He knows which tears are of regret and which are of genuine repentance.
What tears do you cry today? Are you crying true tears of repent to the Lord or just the tears of regret to yourself? We need to remember to always check our hearts, are we being genuine with God, because He knows when we honestly desire a God-centered change, or when we are hoping for self-centered sympathy.

For the sorrow that is according to the will of God produces a repentance without regret, leading to salvation, but the sorrow of the world produces death. 2 Corinthians 7:10

Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 2 Corinthians 5:17

Why Worry?

As I go about my house, tidying up some before my husband gets home, in a rush of panic Natalie hurries to my side. "Mommy, Mommy, the temperature is not on!!"- translated from 4 year old speak that means something along the lines of, "Mommy, Mommy, the thermostat's light turned off!!", at least I think thats what had her concerned! I assume that because I had just been over to it and adjusted the temperature in the room, which turns the backlight on for a few seconds as I change it. And not for the first time by any means I assure Natalie she doesn't need to worry about anything because Mommy is in control of the situation. And off to her room she goes, her world at peace again. In my own world a light bulb had been turned on.
I never cease to be amazed at the things parenthood has taught me about my own relationship with the Lord. If you really know me well, you should know I am a worrier! I worry about everything, I daydream out a number of assorted scenarios in which things could go wrong for any little action that I might take or any illness or ailment that may befall me or any of my family. I have to constantly remind myself that God is in control of my life and I shouldn't worry. But that worry bug still pokes its ugly head up every time one of the kids gets a fever, or Jon is even 10 minutes late getting home from work. But now as I sit here, I have been given a glimpse of what God is thinking every time I let worry wreck havoc in my heart.
As I assured Natalie in her panic that everything was fine because I would take care of her, as I have often reminded her of in the past in similiar situations, I realized that is exactly what God is constantly trying to get through to me! Luckily He has much more patience then I do!! I can get so exasperated sometimes by Natalie's constant concerns and worries over the tiniest things, and I think to myself, Doesn't she know by now that I will take care of her?!! That I would do everything in my own power to keep her safe and healthy and cared for? What an eye opener to think that is the same thing God is looking down on us and thinking about us! Shouldn't we know God will take care of us? He has blessed and enriched my life in so many ways when I have let Him take control, even in the trials He has only ever held me closer when I cried out to Him. And if I think to myself Natalie should feel safe because I would do everything in my power to keep her safe, then I should not fear anything, because God says the same thing to me!! God, who is ALL powerful, has been telling me for a long time that exact thought. Crystal, I am the ALL powerful God who created you, and everything around you. Everything you have, is because of Me. All the blessing in your life come from Me. I will always take care of you, you have NOTHING to worry about with Me in control of your life!!
How amazing to have the all powerful God in control of my life! What could I possibly have to worry about if I truly trust in Him?

For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they donot toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith!....But seek first His kingdon and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6: 25-30, 33-34