He is everywhere. He is in every little crevice of my life, encouraging me, guiding me, loving me.
Just the other day, I was feeling down. I felt like I would never have the opportunity to truly grow my friendships, that have lasted bordering the acquaintance/true friend line for over a year now, in fact almost 2 in some cases. I have often wondered why my children don't seem to get invited to many other kid's parties or gatherings. But I had to realize, I bring it on myself. I can get so caught up on whats easy, staying at home, adhering to nap times that could really be more flexible, or worrying about the kids behavior. These all are great reasons to stay home, but they are also poor excuses to never get out.
(Sometimes I do forget that though I enjoy hanging out around the house well enough, I have a 4 year old full of energy who just wants to be a kid and have fun, preferably with other kids just as silly as her!)
I am normally a planner, but I could not ignore a phone call from a friend one morning after a lonely evening the day before. She wanted to give me a ride to a play date. My number one excuse, I don't have a car, blown completely away. And as I considered her offer, my mind instantly came up with a list of other reasons I shouldn't go; my stomach had been hurting since I woke up; I haven't showered yet, nor had I quite gotten the kids fully dressed and ready for the day; Zachary would need a nap soon and surely without his nap, or sometimes even with it, he can get pretty cranky when we go out; and then my usual excuse since this is sometimes an outdoors adventure- it is way to hot on Guam, and I hate being sweaty! But I also heard God speaking to me about even this 'little' opportunity. How could I be upset and complain about not being as welcomed into circles of friendship if I turned down every chance I got to spend time with these ladies? How can I let inconveniences ruin my opportunity to grow friendships with good, Godly woman who I admire? So I said yes! And though it did feel inconvenient at times with a mildly cranky toddler, it was well worth the time to talk and enjoy watching the children play together. Natalie needed it too, it is good for her to get a little time to socialize since her best friend (and neighbor) has recently moved away.
(Remember kids are 100% washable! I had to keep reminding myself of that as the dirt clung to Zachary's every inch...its easier for me to keep in mind when they are a little bit older and have a better sense of it themselves. For example, not sticking your filthy hands into your mouth! Zachary had his first taste of actual dirt!)
And during the fellowship I received the answer to my first question, why haven't I heard God speak so clearly before? Because I am constantly growing closer to Him, and the more I do, the more loudly He speaks, and the more familiar I become to His voice. It is a wonderful feeling to constantly be able to listen to His direction and know I am following in His will as He shares it with me, whether it is something that may seem trivial, such as whether or not to go to a play date. Or something huge, like whether or not we should extend on our time on Guam. Life may not always be perfect, but if I am following in His will, I know my life will have that bigger purpose that I so long for, as well as peace, even in the storms.
How clearly does God speak to you? Only in nearness with God will you find true purpose and everlasting peace.
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. ~Romans 8:8a
Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God, which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words. ~1 Corinthians 2:12-13